Is there a cost to caring for or helping others who are in pain and suffering? They say that being kind doesn’t cost anything, but sometimes it isn’t true. It may not cost us any money, but it might cost us something else even if our hearts were in the right place.
Having an illness or being in a traumatic situation where you need other people’s help is hard. People who go through hard challenges like illness can eventually get better. But what about those who provide the help? Or who are continuously being exposed to suffering or loss of life?
This is when compassion fatigue happens.
What Is Compassion Fatigue?
Compassion fatigue is when you feel stressed and emotionally drained from being continuously exposed to other people’s trauma. This is also called secondary traumatic stress.
Note: Compassion fatigue is different to caregiver burnout, although they stem from the same causes.
It’s when you have continuously watched other people suffer or die. The term was first used to refer to nurses’ burnout before and eventually used to other professions that deal with trauma like medical professionals, first responders, caregivers, or police. Renowned traumatologist Charles Figley even referred to it as “the cost of caring”.
Nowadays, any of us is at risk of developing compassion fatigue with news being available all the time. It’s human nature to feel empathy for those who are going through trauma and its resilience that keeps us going despite the vicarious trauma.
But sometimes, there’s not much we can do to help, and we feel frustrated and eventually drained until we no longer have anything to give and feel numb.
Signs of Compassion Fatigue
These are the signs to look for in people experiencing compassion fatigue.
- Physical Symptoms
These include nausea, dizziness, headaches, changes in appetite, and digestive issues which may result in physical changes like changes in weight or appearance.
- Drastic Changes in Mood
Moderate to severe mood swings can result from long-term exposure to stress. Extreme feelings of irritability, anger, sadness, anxiety, or even thinking of negative thoughts may be increased.
- Detachment and Withdrawal
Feeling disconnected from our family and friends is a common sign of compassion fatigue, which may result in self-isolation and reduced pleasure in doing activities we used to enjoy.
- Productivity Issues
Long-term stress can affect the brain and lead to difficulty concentrating and making decisions, causing less efficiency and productivity when doing daily or work tasks.
- Emotional Burnout
Dealing with other people’s trauma can cause physical and emotional exhaustion. This may lead to us feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. We may even feel either over or not sensitive at all about other people’s troubles.
- Insomnia
Seeing different kinds of pain and traumas every day can result in nightmares and difficulties sleeping, which can affect our life inside and outside of work. It can lead to difficulty in focusing and decision-making, which can make it harder to do tasks.
- Blaming Yourself
Feeling helpless and blaming yourself for not being able to give enough help to people in difficult situations is normal. Just always remember that it isn’t your fault and that you are doing everything you can to help.
- Addiction
There are times when we turn to alcohol or other recreational drugs as a stress reliever. There is nothing wrong with using them occasionally. But when it becomes a habit, that’s when it becomes a problem. Everything taken excessively is bad for us.
Coping and Management Strategies
- Practice mindfulness and meditation
Be aware and mindful of the thoughts and emotions you’re having. Accept that pain is part of life and that you don’t always have control. Try to put your negative thoughts into perspective and focus on what you can control. If you feel like everything is too much, don’t be afraid to seek help from professionals like a psychologist. Don’t be afraid to step back for a bit when you’re feeling overwhelmed and take a breath.
In your free time, try to do nothing and meditate to clear your mind. You’ll find that it can be relaxing and help you think more clearly.
- Establish a good self-care routine
Taking care of ourselves is important for our mental, emotional and physical well-being. Being healthy stems from our ability to take care of ourselves. Set a good routine and stick to it. Take time to do the things that will help you live well and improve your physical and mental health. Don’t forget to eat well and exercise.
- Set aside me-time
Helping others is a draining but rewarding job. Don’t be afraid to take time off for yourself and replenish the energy you lost. Spend time with yourself and do the things you enjoy. If you ever feel any guilt when having fun in your free time, know that it’s ok. Always remember that we have separate personal and professional lives, and that it’s also ok to take yourself from stressful situations and take some time to breathe.
- Practice self-compassion
Being kind is part of taking care of others. Being kind costs nothing and can easily make someone else’s life, or even just their mood, a little better. If you can be kind to others, then it certainly doesn’t cost anything to be kind to yourself. You are the first person who has to treat yourself right, so if you feel like judging yourself, just remember that you are only human.
- Examine your belief about self-care
Taking care of yourself is more than just eating healthy and keeping yourself active. That is to make your body healthy. But what about your mind, which is very important in handling stressful situations? Anything that helps you relax, as long as it isn’t bad for you, is also a form of self-care. Treating yourself out and enjoying the things you enjoy is self-care. It’s ok to feel guilty if you think some people can’t do the things you do, it isn’t your fault and it certainly isn’t bad to enjoy them.
- Don’t Hesitate to Reach Out for Help
Help is available anywhere as long as you know where to find it. It’s okay to be embarrassed to ask for help, but always remember that you don’t have to and it’s normal, especially if you can’t do it anymore. You can ask for help for other people when you think you are unable to do it anymore. It’s also ok to ask for help for yourself. Social support is a thing, and you can reach out to your friends, family, or even professionals.
Helping others and sacrificing is a selfless act. It takes a lot of courage and compassion to willingly help those who need it. To see the suffering of others, even to the point when you have to watch them die and be their comfort, can take a toll on our mental health. This can be draining and affects our ability to be empathetic. In the end, when our mind is affected, our body also gets affected.
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